Couples Therapy

2214530757The relationship rut…

The connection and spark you once had just isn’t there.

You know…

When you feel unappreciated and unloved…

When conversations become transactional and devoid of connection…

When sexual or other issues turn into anger and resentment…

If this sounds familiar, you’re probably wondering if this relationship is for you – whether you should call it quits.

Bob* and Sarah* were the parents of two teenagers…

Bob was a high-level executive, and Sarah retired to be a stay-at-home mom. They’d been together for almost 20 years when they came to me.

Their story was one shared by many couples: They loved each other deeply, but they fought often and just didn’t feel close. They both felt underappreciated, and their anger and resentment had started boiling over.

They couldn’t remember the last time they had sex. Sarah complained that Bob was always working, and Bob chalked it up to Sarah being “way too involved” in the kids’ lives.

1999122980Their relationship wasn’t over (far from it).

I asked them to tell me the story of how they met and what about the other person made them fall in love in the first place. Anger and resentment have a way of making us focus on the negative, causing us to forget all the positive things that attract us to our partners.

I then invited them to share their hopes and dreams as a couple. We often lose sight of the future when we feel upset or dejected. Constructing a shared vision of life to come is important for a couple’s health and happiness.

Then, we identified several behavioral patterns blocking the good stuff – the emotional glue – in their relationship. I gave them fun homework between sessions to remove those barriers (so they were both taking responsibility for improving their relationship).

Together, we discussed old wounds. I helped them process the hurts, giving them tools to communicate better, ask to have their needs met, and prioritize their relationship so they could move forward and rediscover their love.

Within a month, they reported feeling much better in their relationship.

They both felt more appreciated and loving toward each other. They also began having sex regularly (much to their surprise).

We continued working together for several months until they reported feeling SO good about their relationship that they no longer needed me.

I want to help you, too.

Let’s take a multifaceted approach to get your relationship back on track.

Let’s contain and redirect the resentment by learning to communicate openly and effectively.

Let’s discover new ways to nurture joy, love, appreciation, and intimacy between you and your partner.

It’s easy to get started. Just give me a call, and we’ll schedule your free consultation: (917) 922-2650.

*The above name and story are a fictionalized composite of real clients I’ve supported.