Gay Dads and Parenting

So many questions…

Should I have kids?

What’s it like?

I want kids, but my partner isn’t sure. What do I do??

How do we go about it?

There are several options (e.g., adoption, surrogacy, or foster care), but you have to know the ins and outs of each to know which one is right for you.

I have the experience to guide you.

Both of my children (adopted at birth) are now young adults. One is married, and one recently finished college. The journey wasn’t always easy, but it was one of the most joyous of my life.

I’ve been down that road, so I can guide you every step of the way.

We’ll start with your contemplation of having children.

After all, there are implications to your life and relationship once you have them.

Having children is life-changing!

There is truly no way fully to prepare for being a parent. It’s the toughest job in the world but also the most rewarding. It can bond you as a couple or cleave you apart.

For me, it was like going from living in black and white to living in color. I found a limitless amount of love in my heart for my children, and my world changed for the better.

We’ll discuss the emotional rollercoaster of having children and being a parent.

Having kids makes your heart grow bigger with infinite love and joy – but also fear, anxiety, and sleep deprivation!

It’s a huge risk, and there are no guarantees of how things will turn out. Taking care of a baby is the easiest part!

Life gets exponentially more challenging and complicated as children grow and develop socially, emotionally, and intellectually. Friends, dating, drugs, learning differences….

We’ll discuss how to get through those challenging teen years.

I survived two teens!

The stories I could share! I can guide you as your teen differentiates, individuates, and ultimately separates from you. This is all developmentally healthy, but the process can drive you crazy at times.

Your teen’s job is to separate – he or she thinks they know everything and is invincible, while they often think you are stupid. But they are also very afraid of taking on the full responsibility of adulthood. And they still need you.

A little about my journey…

When my son, Zev, was born in 1998, there were very few gay dads. The few I met all had incredible and heroic stories about how they became parents.

Wanting to share their stories and provide pictures that spoke to my children, I wrote Gay Dads: A Celebration of Fatherhood (Penguin/Putnam 2003).

I interviewed more than a hundred gay men who had children. I profiled 24 gay dad families and their journey to parenthood through adoption, surrogacy, foster care, or co-parenting with women.

If you are uncertain about becoming a parent…

I can help you. Let’s talk.

If you are certain you want to be a parent but are not sure how to become one, I can help you. Let’s talk.

If you are certain you want to be a parent, but your partner is not sure, I can help you. Let’s talk.

And if you just want to talk to a seasoned parent for support and guidance, I am here for you. Reach out for your free consultation: (917) 922-2650.